Update - Results of IUI#5

Greetings prayer warriors! I wish more than anything I was bringing great news, but unfortunately, as many of you now know, we are not pregnant. We are going to take some form of a 'break' for now to rest in the Lord and seek His direction. Please pray Isaiah 30:21 over us: "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it". We want HIS way, not our own. "I do not ask my cross, my way to see -- better in darkness, to hold Your hand, and follow Thee". It will probably be a while before we send out another e-mail, so rest those knees (and if you feel so led, get on your face with us instead ;)
Boy does this Scripture speak to our hearts: "May the Lord bring you into an ever deeper understanding of the love of God and of the patience that comes from Christ" 2 Thessalonians 3:5 (TLB)
It has been so amazing to dive into His Word, His rich, comforting, convicting, infallible Word - and go deeper into the love of God. His Love... is Extravagent... Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord... "I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, IN HIM will I trust!"' Psa 91:2 (KJV)

Thank you so much for your prayers! And thank you to those that have so generously supported our mission trip to Mexico financially and through prayer. We are leaving early tomorrow morning (Frid) and will come back late Sunday night... to say the least, we will hit the ground running, literally, when we get there, and won't stop until we come home! Please pray for protection over our team as we travel and minister. Please pray for me that the Lord would pour through me as I share my testimony and speak to the townspeople, and that the Lord would direct us in leading the clinic (there will be a lot of variables to work with). Christ can cross any language barrier and He is Mighty to Save! We pray specifically for the lost to come to know this Incredible Redeeming Love through Salvation in Jesus Christ - and the life He has to offer here, and hereafter. There is no greater life to be lived! Amen!?!

We love you all and thank the Lord for all of your prayers, love, encouragement, and support.

Faithfully His,
Brad and Linsey <><

"The Lord saves those who are crushed in Spirit" Ps 34:18 (NIV)

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you" Isa 41:13

'Our finite minds cannot grasp God's infinite ways of answering prayer'

Update on IUI #4; Prayer Request for IUI #5 5-20-08

Hi there courageous prayer warriors! As always, THANK YOU for your prayers and your encouragement. You are so precious to Brad and me!
Unfortunately, as many of you know, last week we found out that we were not pregnant, again. We were crushed! The blood progesterone this time was 28.96! wow! Whereas last time it was 17.33. Everything looked really good, but it was just not the time. You know how cool and personal our God is though? The night before we were going to take the preg. test, I was writing a note to my parents at the breakfast table- my Bible was sitting there, as usual, randomly opened in Psalms (we've been studying a lot of Psalms in our 'Stepping Up, Psalms of Ascent BB'S by Beth Moore)... when I looked up it's like my eyes were drawn straight to a Scripture that seemed to be standing up in all caps off the page and highlighted. It read, "HE SETTLES THE BARREN WOMAN IN HER HOME AS A HAPPY MOTHER OF CHILDREN. PRAISE THE LORD" Ps 113:9
Other Scriptures on the page were underlined and marked, but not this one. I love it when our Gracious God speaks so tenderly to His children through His Word. Thank You Lord! Praise You! He knew that we were going to be hurting the next day and He reassured us of His faithfulness.
This was our second round with this new protocol. The doctor recommended doing at least 3 before moving on to anything else. Brad and I had talked in great length of taking a break for a month or two, and then trying one more round. However, in prayerfully looking at everything and talking to the nurse, we feel it is more wise to try this third round before the break. We have some momentum in our favor right now - two months in a row of actually for sure ovulating and consistent cycles (which we feel like is a miracle in itself for my little 'never textbook' body) :) ha! To skip a cycle and then try to start back would disrupt what we have worked long and hard to achieve, and could quite possibly be like starting over again. We feel confident we will take a break if this third time is not His time.
Anyways, we just ask, once again, for your prayers. We will walk and not grow weary, we will run and not grow faint! Let us press on! This week we will finish the Clomid (please pray for protection of my body against harmful side effects), then over the next week will have ultrasounds and do the injection and probably IUI #5. Thank you so much for your prayers!
I just have to share a little tidbit from the BBS we're doing - I loved this: "God knows when something glorious in the future necessitates something difficult in the present. B/c He knows the glory will be worth it, God will risk being misunderstood. Yes, God wants us to have joyful, satisfying lives, but He also wants us to have crowns to cast. Rewards to receive. Character to develop. Compassion to give. Testimonies to tell. In the midst of those painful processes, God makes bold promises." Amen!!!


Another prayer request:
Brad and I are going on a mission trip to Mexico June 20-22, 2008, where the main outreach will be soccer. We are so excited to see what the Lord is going to do in reaching these kids. We prayed about it for a good while before we accepted, a couple months ago, knowing that we could possibly be pregnant. However, we may not be. And we are going to a very safe part (safe for Mexico), traveling in a large group, and will only be gone for 3 days. We plan on bringing LOTS of water, snacks, food, and sunscreen! :) We feel so blessed to be a part of this crew that is going!
We are currently working on getting soccer balls for these kiddos, and possibly something fun like water bottles, different soccer equipment, etc. We are raising our own funding, but fortunately this is a pretty low budget trip. We do want to bring some special things to these kids, though. We would greatly appreciate your prayers on this - in preparation for the trip - how to effectively share Christ across language and culture barriers - protection from the infamous Montezuma's Revenge ;) ha! protection from Mexico's dangers, etc. And if any of you feel led to contribute some money to funding this trip, that would be awesome (you can make a check out to Brad or myself and send to our address (see below), and we'll put the money towards our fund for supplies and expenses for the trip.


Thank you sooooooooooooooo much for your prayers, support, and love!
"We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Thess 1:2-3

Update on IUI#3, Prayer Request for IUI#4

Greetings prayer warriors! Thank you SO much for all of your prayers. Wow! It is so amazing and humbling to be lifted up like this - it's overwhelming actually! We thank the Lord and praise Him for you like crazy!
Well, as some of you know this round was a no-go... We are not pregnant. Bummer, huh? Everything went very well and the pieces to the puzzle appeared to be there ... simply clarifying that this time wasn't God's Perfect Time. The cry of our heart is to be in the center of His Will, and for Him to carry out His good and perfect plan that He has set out for us. We believe He is accomplishing that. We walk by faith and not by sight, Amen!?
One of my little notecards in my bathroom reads 'I will only triumph in You (Lord) once I learn the radiance of the rain'. It has been so amazing to walk triumphantly, in the radiance of the rain, even singing and dancing! The peace and contentment in Christ - there is nothing like it - to feel as if the promise has already been fulfilled, when it hasn't yet... it's indescribable! Not that everyday is a walk in the clouds and this 'contentment' is anything easy ;) but I so desperately don't want my contentment to rely on circumstances. I recall crying out to the Lord over the past few years 'Jesus I want my contentment to be in You, and only You, regardless of whether You ever bring children or not!' Praise God that He is our Sustainer, He is our Redeemer! Whooo! He is the Life Giver, He's the Pasture Maker, He is our Hope, He is our Refuge, HE IS ENOUGH!! for He is the Great I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what does this next month hold? Well, we're going to give this 'protocol' another go. The Clomid with the injection and IUI worked so well. It's a huge praise that we finally achieved, for sure, ovulation! The doctor strongly recommended, since this finally worked, to try it again. Brad and I both agree and will be making the trips back and forth to Midland again over the next month... Please continue the prayers for this next round. Please pray for no hyperstimulation of the ovaries; for protection from any harm on my body from these meds; for the follicles to grow as they should.. for God's grace and strength, and for Him to get all glory from us in every part! "We are joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." (Rom 12:12)

Thank you!
Brad and Linsey <><



“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Philippians 4:11

“But godliness with contentment is great gain” 1 Timothy 6:6

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Mid-Cycle Update II for IUI#3, 4-3-08

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I just had to send out a quick note to tell you how thankful we are for your love, prayers, and support, and for the bloodwork results we just got back!
We took a blood-progesterone test which indicates whether you ovulated or not (as many of you know). Well, we just got the results back yesterday and my progesterone was high, and indicates for sure ovulation! Wow! Praise You Lord! This was SO exciting and such a milestone for us, b/c this has been the main little booger to overcome. The other blood-progesterone tests kept coming back low, indicating no ovulation.
Now hold your horses though, b/c ovulation does not equal conception - but this at least gives us a chance and tells us that the combination of Clomid and injection that Dr. Doke prescribed, worked!
Just wanted to share the good news and our heart-felt appreciation of your prayers. We will wait for a while on taking a pregnancy test, but rest assured we will be letting you know the results of that as well.
We truly have been walking in a peace that transcends all understanding, as it says in Phil 4:6, even before we started the Clomid. We will continue to cling fast to God's Word and not be anxious in anything, but continue with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presenting our requests to God. He truly has guarded our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Side note: Isn't it freeing when you really relinquish control? A year ago I would have been rolling the things of this month round and round in my head, wringing my hands, with an anxious heart. What is so gratifying to my soul, is that the Lord has graciously brought me to this place of truly learning 'being anxious in nothing', and full surrender, while still walking through the flames - not when the desire is fulfilled, but when the heart is still aching! Praise Him! I have finally absorbed the lesson He has been trying to teach me in that to do this, we must be in His Word, speak His Word, and fully believe His Word.. how to take thoughts captive and give them up to Him, instead of battling it in my mind for days.. how to combat the enemy in the Name of Jesus, and God's Word, how to replace anxious thoughts with powerful Truths. His Character is revealed through Scripture, and confirmed in our experiences with Him... As we have studied in our BBS recently: As we seek to know HIM, not just know His Will, or where He wants to take us, or what He wants us to do, He is so faithful to lead us in the way everlasting. A while back I heard a wonderful message and it was talking about Proverbs 3:5-6... "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." It is so freeing to me that our responsibility is to acknowledge Him in all our ways - His responsibility is to make our paths straight. I used to always try to line out my paths... when I took this message to heart, I rejoiced in the unnecessary weight lifted off my shoulders.

Just had to share - you know me, I can't keep still or quiet when the Lord is teaching me ;) Thank you all so much for your prayers - you are amazing!

"Not that I have already obtained this, or have been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that of which Christ Jesus took hold of me" Phil 3:12

Let us press on with full assurance of faith!

Mid-Cycle Update IUI #3 3-28-08

Greetings beloveds! Thank you SO much for your intercession through prayer. We felt it, and cannot express how much we appreciate it!!!
Just wanted to give you a quick update (short version) for those inquiring:
- Monday the ultrasound went great! no cysts or hyperstimulation; growing follicles looking great (the doctor said "this looks great! I couldn't ask for any better")
- We did the ovidrel injection Monday night (sweet nurse Becky gave me the shot and did such a great job!)
- Wednesday we did the IUI and it went great!

So overall everything went fantastic, praise You Lord! The only concern is that the last couple days I have been having pain and discomfort in my ovaries and abdomen... we just ask that you please continue praying - there are a couple of possibilities as to what this pain means, neither are good - so we are just trusting the Lord - He knows exactly what's going on in my body, even though it doesn't make sense to me, and if He has this time to be the time, then it will be. Thank you so much for your prayers. We'll do bloodwork next week to check progesterone but then probably wait several weeks before a pregnancy test (if we take one too early, then we would most likely get a false positive due to the injection).

Jenn Anderson pointed me to this Scripture in the Amplified version and the Lord has really brought it to my heart the last couple days:

"3You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You.
4So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages]." Isaiah 26:3-4
Amen!!

Update on HSG, Prayer Request IUI #3, 3-6-08

Hey guys! How's it going? It feels like it has been forever since we have sent out an update/prayer request. Hope this e-mail finds you all doing well! Many of you know the latest but we wanted to bring everyone up to speed and petition, once again, your intercession. Side note: Have ya'll heard that song 'Hosanna' by Hillsong United? So awesome - I can't stop singing it!

First off, a huge praise: We did an HSG (tubal dye x-ray) in February and everything checked out great! It showed no blockages or problems.

Another praise: Monday (March 3rd) I had an ultrasound to see if the cysts had gone down (since the last round a couple of months ago we upped the medicine and it overstimulated the ovaries and we ended up with 4-5 cysts...), and they had!!! Our doctor saw no concern or reason to not move forward.

And yet another praise: Our Gracious God has been so patient with me and has brought me to a place of peace and contentment in Him that is just nothing short of incredible! He is so good and His grace is sufficient! "A heart at peace gives life to the body" Proverbs 14:30 I have been feeling so good and so refreshed the past couple months - sure there are times of frustration and my jaws and neck are still flaring up, but overall I feel so good! It springs from the heart!

I'll have to share more on that but first, here's 'the plan' (short and sweet version) for this month:

- We'll do the Clomid, once again, but on the lower dose... then we'll do 1 or more ultrasounds to hopefully see a mature follicle ready for spontaneous ovulation.... then at that time, Brad will give me an injection to trigger ovulation, and we'll do an IUI 36 hrs later. In looking at the past ultrasounds (before and after I should have ovulated), bloodwork (day 21 progesterone), etc. we never once detected ovulation and I have never gotten a positive on the LH home tests (ever). That doesn't mean it has never happened, but that's what it points to. Irregardless, we do know that I have responded to the Clomid and achieved mature follicles but then they don't release (either at all, or way way late). So this injection should tell my body to release the mature follicle when it is supposed to.
We're excited at what this month will hold, but as we always say and believe 100%: God is the Giver of Life and while we believe He may use this doctor and medicine simply as a tool, we want His will, His way - and we believe His will will be accomplished. Our trust and our hope is in Him!

We would really appreciate your prayers on this. We want so bad to honor Christ through all of this. We pray that He would put a hedge of protection around my body, that the Clomid would work as it is supposed to (to produce mature follicles), but not overstimulate and bring harm; and that He would protect my body from the headaches and yuckiness that tends to come with Clomid. We pray that the Lord would give our doctor supernatural clarity and wisdom in our situation and that he would make the right call for when to give the shot; and that we would give the shot correctly and all would go as it should (we've done this to calves a million times, right?! ha!) This procedure should be done before Easter (we're hoping several days before Easter Weekend ;) Also, please pray for continued healing in my body, specifically that my neck, shoulders and jaws would relax, heal and feel good. (several doctors, specialists, etc. have told me the same thing: 'there has been so many years of serious abuse to my jaws, neck, and shoulders, that it most likely will take a long time to really get better' (one chiropractor said that he suffered from several wrecks but didn't have near as much damage as I've had and it took him 10 years of rehab, stretching and treatments before his neck was better... - so we'll try to be patient and thank the Lord for ALL that has improved SO much!)

So that's the skinny. Thank you all SO much for your love, encouragement, and prayers. We just truly can't express how much it means and how much we appreciate it!

"In the Messiah, in Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade" (2 Cor 2:14 Msg) - There is 'Victory in Jesus', amen?!

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us" Rom 8:37

"I (God) will not foget you. See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands" Isa 49:15-16

"You, O God, tested us... we went through fire and water, but You brought us to a place of abundance" Psalm 66:10-12 (we can experience abundance in our hearts - I believe we can walk in the desert and in the valley, but have a heart of Canaan)


The following is a heart note I just sent to Allison- I just can't keep to myself what all the Lord is doing in my heart and share what I am learning about Him and through Him. I pray it encourages you! (just read this if you want to and have time ;) it's a little lengthy:



... It's amazing b/c to look back on this 'Journey' and see where we have come with the Lord, by His Grace - He really has used this fiery trial to challenge my faith, my trust in Him, and my passion for Him, His Word, and His people. (its' so true as it says in 'Unto the Hills' (Feb 18 devo for those that have it) : "When Jesus Christ is with a person, that person can go through the deepest suffering and somehow emerge a better and stronger Christian b/c of it". I have seen that in so many true beleivers' lives - they are refined by the fire and they walk away forever changed. I have come from feeling hurt by God, not understanding, questioning, doubting... thru much more to get to KNOWING that He is ALL GOOD, ALL THE TIME and He really does have amazing things in store for us that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind can conceive (while I see how much He loves me and all He wants to give me, I have been awakened to see His Character and how to put the focus on Him instead of me - that can be a battle, can't it?!). We know that He does work all things to the good of those who love Him, and have been called according to His purpose in Christ Jesus. Out of His Magnificent Love, He is going through great lengths to prepare us for blessings too great to even take in. Our God is SO Big and I want to live in the Bigness of His Story. That doesn't mean I'm walking around w/ my head in the clouds, whistling everywhere I go ;) (just about though!) but I feel like I am truly living out 'the joy of the Lord is my strength'.
A couple of weeks ago I was getting ready for bed, and as I crawled in bed I teared up and laid there, vulnerable before the Lord. My heart was aching b/c of this desire so deeply rooted in me, by Him. He has planted such a longing in me to be a mother, since long ago, that the deepest attempts to seize it, just scratch the surface. When I have cried, I have sobbed from my heart, the very depths of it. It reminds me of Hannah. The Bible says how she was praying from her heart - her lips were moving but no sound was heard. Eli thought she was drunk, but she explained to him that she wasn't drunk at all - but rather she was pouring out her heart in anguish and grief before the Lord. This has been an experience unlike any other when I have known that the Holy Spirit has been interceding on my behalf, going to the Father before me - communicating to Him what I cannot even put into words...
Anyways, when my heart was really aching and I swelled up with tears, it wasn't like a frustrated cry, or a 'God Why?' cry - it was more like a deeper realization of just how strong this desire is, and how greatly I believe that it comes from Him. He's also helped me to learn through experience, things about spiritual giftings, 'our faith', 'our authority', God's Sovereignty, etc. This is one of the Words I believe He gave me: Our faith cannot trump God's Almighty Sovereignty. There is a reason that Job is in the Bible, Hannah, Habbakuk, and many others (I could stop here and write a whole page about 'faith' but I'll pull back the reins ;) "Chance has not brought this ill to me, it's God's own hand so let it be. For He sees what we cannot see. There is purpose for each pain, and He one day will make it plain, that earthly loss is Heavenly gain" (Streams in the Desert). He has also shown me intersting ways He tests our obedience, or strengthens obedient hearts in us. There are so many crazy stories in the Bible on this like when God told Elijah to 'go over here and do this', 'go over there', when God could have provided for him right where he was... when Jesus healed the blind man by sticking mud packs on his eyes and then telling him to go to a pool and wash it off (paraphrased), when He could have just spoke and He would have been healed, sat there and touched him and he would have been healed ... When He told His disciples (can't rembember which one) to go catch a fish and there would be the money for taxes - when He could have handed them the exact change right then and there... Sometimes we must walk out our faith to receive the blessing He has in store. I think there are times when we sit, times when we stand, and times when we walk. Often times He wants us to partner with Him in what He is doing in our lives. He wants to see if we will be obedient to what He asks us to do, even if it seems weird at the time - with obedience, comes blessings (but maybe not always in the way we see it, or want it). Trust and Obey! Wasn't it Joshua that had to actually take a step into the Jordan before the waters parted?

It's kind of like God has shown us this mountain in the distance and He has said " you have to travel this road to get there. I'm not going to just pick you up and place you on the other side of that mountain, b/c you would miss out on all the things I'm dying to show you; and you wont' be able to fully appreciate the destination, without the journey. But don't be scared. I'm not going to leave you on this road alone. I'm right here holding your hand. When it is dark, keep holding on to My hand and follow My lead; when it is cold, let Me clothe you with My comforting love and hold you with My everlasting arms; when it is steep, let Me enable you with the hines-feet of the deer; when you think you might fall, let Me be the wings beneath you. Steadfastly we will persevere until we reach that mountain, and on the other side is a brilliance of blessings you have never before even dreamed. Hold on dear one, for I, the Father, am well pleased"

We feel a peace to move forward (with this next round of treatment), but we know it is God who is the Giver of Life, not the doctor, and we are resting in God to do a mighty work! I can't explain it, but each day it almost feels like the desire gets stronger - and I feel more ready - I have been feeling stronger spiritually, mentally, and physically. I remember when we first started trying I felt so 'strong'. Many months into the infertility trial, I found myself going, "God, I don't understand - I felt so strong when we started trying and now I feel so completely weak - physically, mentally, and even spiritually. I am broken'. But He had to tear me down to bind me up stronger. Because now my strength comes through Him. I am stronger in Christ and and in His Mighty power! I keep thinking 'Joshua' and 'Be Strong and Courageous!'. I am also feeling better physically and getting some of my old strength back. I have gained weight and actually am getting too tight for my jeans - way too tight on a couple pair ;) ha! I have finally come to a point of No Reservations. Literally up to about a month ago, if I had to be completely brutally honest, there were still some little reservations in my spirit: "but God, what if we finally get pregnant and are due in the CRAZIEST TIME EVER!? (Nov- Dec -during Brad's insane hunting season, around Thanksgiving and CHRISTmas)"; "but God, what if I am finally getting this EED thing rolling and then I get pregnant?" "but God, what if we finally get this once in a lifetime chance to go to Africa for mission work, but I am pregnant or breastfeeding"; "but God, but God, but God!" - you know what all of this was? you guessed it: not fully trusting in Him. If His way is best, and His Sovereign time is perfect, and He meets ALL of our needs according to Christ Jesus, and He has a Mighty plan for my life and purpose for this child, do I not think that He will take care of these things, whether big or small? YES, HE WILL! I am at peace with having a baby during the craziest of all crazy times and at peace with having to 'rearrange my schedule', or turning down 'business opportunities', or not getting some of the glitz and glamour (as if I'm really that hot of stuff anyways, right? ha! We, sheep, are so stinkin funny!). Seek FIRST HIS Kingdom (not our own!), and the rest will be taken care of. As hard as it has been for us to walk through this particular fire, it has been the most incredible experience of my life and I am SO thankful for it. He has graciously brought me to a place of joy and content as if I already had a child, when one is not even in sight. What a mighty God we serve!
Have Thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way!

Prayer Request for HSG

Greetings my dears! I hope this e-mail finds you doing wonderful and celebrating the beginning of a new year! We anticipate GREAT in 2008! We wanted to send a quick update. We probably will not be e-mailing for a while (we'll give your knees a rest ;) Thank you so much for your prayers. As some of you know, we appointments Thursday, Jan 3rd, and Friday, Jan 11th... The appt on Jan 3rd was scheduled to be an ultrasound to see how good the follicles were looking and schedule an IUI. Unfortunately, doubling the Clomid this round (a whole other story on that), over-stimulated my ovaries and there was a cyst - not what we wanted to see! He didn't even schedule the IUI and said that normally a cyst like this inhibits or prevents ovulation altogether. Big time bummer! But the bloodwork showed no real 'danger' in the hyperstimulation. The appt Jan 11th was to do another ultrasound and bloodwork to see how everything looked, and to try to see if by the slim chance I actually ovulated. Well, this ultrasound showed 4-5 large cysts now, not just 1! Yikes! The Clomid kept kicking in and caused more overstimulation.
So... very long story short, we are probably going to do a HSG (tubal dye x-ray) and possibly more tests this next round, allow my body and ovaries to recover from the medicine, and then go from there...

We were hoping that this would increase our chances, but instead it decreased them to almost nill. While we see the 'medical facts' before us, I can't help but to continue to think of ole' Lazarus! Isnt' it incredible how Jesus waited until 4 days after Lazarus had died before going to him? That story just grips my heart - the Sovereignty of our Lord Jesus - All God and All Man - he was a dear friend of Lazarus' and we see his heart in how He wept, and yet His Deity in how He raised Lazarus from the dead - and the faith of Mary and Martha - they sent for Jesus b/c they just KNEW that He would save him... yet the most significant thing to me is why He waited 4 days (I'm just going off the ole memory here so double check me on this) : in those days they believed that the spirit hovered above the deceased body for 3 days... and others had already come by to give their condolecences to Mary and Martha... If Jesus would have come a day, or two, or three earlier, many would have dismissed the miracle and pointed to another reason - By Jesus waiting until there were no other options, others had to behold God's Glory at the works He had done. They had to give Him all the credit! We are often so quick to say things are 'coincidence' or 'luck' ... and give credit or reason to something of this world... when it is the Lord at work and He who deserves the praise and acknowledgement.

While these circumstances look grim, our faith is above circumstances, b/c our faith is in the Living God who knows all and can do all. He may not have this time to be the time, but we totally believe that this could be a set up for Him to come through in a blaze of Glory!

If you are wondering what to pray for:
- Please pray, first and foremost, for God to get ALL the Glory through this - from us and from others. HE is the Giver of Life, the doctor is an instrument. We rely on our Messiah, not our medicine! We serve such an Amazing Father - we pray that for those who don't know Him personally would come to know Him in such a powerful way - and that the Lord would continue to use this journey that He is taking us through to not only strengthen our hearts, but all of those that are close to us and close to the situation. We know there are many others suffering so greatly - suffering that our minds and hearts cannot even touch - We don't want to be consumed in 'our trial' but rather even more aware of those around us that need love, prayer, and compassion. God comforts us not to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters. May we comfort, through Christ, others that are hurting. May we rejoice with others through the suffering. Joy is not the absence of crisis, but the presence of Christ.

Other prayer requests:
- For miraculous healing, in my whole body, and especially the ovaries
- For clear discernment and direction
- For a miracle that this time would be the time, be it God's will, despite all cirumstances

Thank you. We love you.

"Rejoice in the Lord always!" Phil 4:4

Update IUI #2 Jan 08

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all had a WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS!!! This is just a short little update as I know you all are probably extra busy right now, but we wanted to thank you for your prayers and keep you informed:

Well, most of you probably know by now that the IUI #2 was unsuccessful. Simply put, it wasn't God's timing. We're sure of that. After much much much prayer, and talking with our doctor, we have decided to try one more time. However, this time we are doubling Clomid (the fertility drug), and we are doing extra monitoring (via ultrasounds and bloodwork). We will be doing the ultrasounds, IUI, and bloodwork throughout the month of January...

We have just been praising the Lord like crazy for protecting my body while I've been doubling Clomid this time. Everyone seems to vary in their experiences with Clomid... The past two rounds I have had pretty unpleasant side effects - but I am doing really well, all things considered, this time! Whoop!
We can't thank you enough for stepping up with us and praying! Your prayers have been felt. We know specific people praying specific prayers for us and it just blows us away with gratitude and humility. We have felt like a blanket of comfort has just been laid over us. We are walking in confident peace and looking forward to what lies ahead.
Our Sovereign God has been working through this fiery trial in SO many ways. It's not easy, but we love it! We have come to know Him in such a way that we have not before experienced. He. Is. Jehovah.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him." Psalm 62:5

Mid-Cycle Update IUI #2 11-29-07

Howdy folks!
Well, this will be a very short and sweet update, but many have asked how things are going and next steps, so we wanted to respond and once again petition your prayers. Thank you.

Basically, the doctor advised another round of Clomid and IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination)... we had an ultrasound yesterday (Wed) that showed good news ... we had some 'follicle action going on' (as Brad and I say), and no hyper-stimulation of the ovaries. Thank You Lord! Things look even better this time than before.
We will do the IUI next week.
It will be a good while before we know anything, but when we do, we'll let you know! We just cannot truly express how grateful we are for your prayers, love, and support. We are so encouraged, so hopeful, and SO at peace!
Love you all!
Brad and Linsey <><

"My times are in Your hands" Psalm 31:15

Update on IUI #1 11-14-07

Well gang, after 5 home tests and 1 blood test, all negative, we are officially not pregnant. We know many of you have been anxiously awaiting to hear the news so we wanted to send an update. This update is a little more of what Allison and I call a ‘heart note’ so bear with me ;)

The song that keeps running through my head is … ‘persecuted, not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed – we are blessed beyond the curse – and His promise will endure – His joy’s going be my strength – though the sorrow may last for a night, the joy comes in the morning … and we say ‘YES LORD! YES LORD! YES YES LORD! YES LORD! YES LORD! YES YES LORD! YES LORD! YES LORD! YES YES LORD AMEN!”
I can just picture many of you jumping in and singing with us! I love that song!

I believe it’s taken from 2 Corinthians 4:8 “we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” … and I love verses 16-18 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” Amen!

The hardest part about this news is not just ‘not being pregnant’, but my hormones seemingly ‘disappearing’ the latter half of the cycle. It is really weird, surprised the doctor, and doesn’t make sense. We watched a follicle grow and prepare to ovulate and everything looked good to go. Then day 28 comes around and nothing, then day 30, 32, 34… and nothing but false pregnancy tests. The other times I went on Clomid, I cycled back day 29 and day 31, and the first of those I was ‘borderline ovulation’. So we’re all a little puzzled and the reality that there may be more ‘pieces to this puzzle’ is sinking in.

The Lord has poured several songs out of my heart and on to paper throughout this journey. In one of the songs, I wrote “I can’t see what the future holds – but I trust in the One who knows…” The fact is that we truly don’t know just how long, or how deep this journey will go. Yesterday I journaled, “The negative blood pregnancy test was no surprise to You, Lord… it doesn’t make sense, nothing adds up… but one thing I do know is that You are faithful. We trust You God. Draw me in under Your wing, hide me in the cleft of The Rock. Take hold of my right hand. I love you. I want Your plan for my life. I want to fulfill Your purpose for me in every way. God, may we have obedient hearts – that we will listen to You and say ‘Yes, Thank You, and Amen’. Father You know how I long to be pregnant – to carry a little life inside of me and give birth – but Lord, if Your plan is for me to never carry a child … but to fulfill Your calling on my life to be a mother in another way… if that’s Your way, then may it be. Father, some would call this giving up “if only you had enough faith you would be pregnant”. But You call it complete surrender. Looking to You and not myself – wanting to bring You glory and fulfill Your purpose! Who am I to know what is best for me and Brad… and what will bring You the most glory? ‘Who has gathered up the wind in the hollow of His hands?’ (Prov 30), ‘Have I ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place?’ (Job 38) Your ways are above mine. The lightning doesn’t report to me for orders, I don’t tell the sea ‘this far and no more’. You do. I love You Lord. Lead us in the path everlasting. Wherever You lead, we’ll go…”

Thank you for your prayers and your encouragement. We know He has something spectacular in store, and we don’t lose hope. We are believing Him for great things, and a little miracle could just be right around the corner. But even if it is not, we will still trust Him. It’s not just about ‘our faith’ but about our faith in the LIVING GOD!!! He is who gives life and rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

For those wanting to know what they can specifically pray for, please pray for what path to take. If it is continuing on down this path with this doctor, please pray for supernatural discernment and wisdom for him. That the Lord would show him whatever pieces are missing to this puzzle. And please pray for wisdom and discernment in our hearts, that we may be wise in how we honor the Lord with our bodies, and that each step would be solely directed by Him. We do not wish to be on synthetic hormones or fertility drugs by any means… so if this is the path He wants us to continue on, may He bring us confirmation and may He protect my body from more harm from these drugs. His grace is sufficient!
Many of you know this battle. Lea and Roger, through our light and momentary struggles, we are constantly reminded and encouraged to step in the gap for you. You are heroes of the faith!
Thank you all for your prayers, your love, and your support. We, by no means, think we are the only ones going through this, or are so naïve as to think others are not facing trials much greater than our own. I have battled my pride to not petition your prayers but I have been humbled. I recognize that there is power in prayer and we are desperate for it. It means so much and we know God has not been too busy to hear those prayers, He has not ignored them, or pushed them aside. He is right here with us, leading us, and comforting us – reassuring us that if we will just hang on… just over this mountain we are climbing may be blessings and beauty and experiences that we never before even imagined!
‘For He is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine’ (Eph 3:20)



“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in Your book.” Psalm 56:8 (Message)

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life” Psalm 119:50

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” Prov 13:12

Prayer Request for IUI #1 10-28-07

Hi dear ones! Wow, your prayers were definitely felt. Thank you!!!

To make a real long story short, here's the update :)
- I went in Monday for the ultrasound and we didn't see quite what we wanted to see... We felt a little frustrated and confused, but there was still potential and hope so we held onto that...
- The doctor, from evaluating the ultrasound, set us up to do the IUI Thursday, so that if the one hopeful follicle we were watching continued to grow as it was supposed to, that would be the time...

We went in Thursday prepping for the IUI and did an ultrasound to find a little miracle (a miracle to us) - the follicle looked great and everything seemed to 'fall into place' - the doctor said 'this is perfect timing' (and much more), and we did the IUI...
NOTHING has ever gone like this before (in this category) so it was a little surprising in the sense to actually get a good report (especially after some not so great things Monday)... Thank You Jesus!

Another HUGE blessing is that the doctor saw no hyper-stimulation of my ovaries from the Clomid (no swelling or enlarged cysts (the first time we went on Clomid over a year and a half ago, I got a cyst and had to just 'wait' for several months for it to go down...)

There, of course, is still no guarantee even with everything going so amazingly well... I think percentage wise it's like 36%. However, our God is above percentages, above circumstances, and if this is His timing, it will happen. If it's not His timing, it will be more than difficult as so many things positively led up to this, came together, and it's apparent His hand has been at work - but we'll trust His grace is sufficient to get us through and there's a better plan awaiting for Greater Glory! For now, we eagerly anticipate the results to see if the Giver of Life chose this as the time to give us a little life of our own; a life formed by Him, entrusted to us, for the time He allows us here on this earth...

We won't know until a few weeks - don't worry, we will keep you posted! When we know for sure, we will then let you know (hopefully we'll be celebrating!!!). We are just so grateful for the good report - we praise the Lord for His faithfulness, for the peace that transcended all understanding in our hearts, for Brad's tenderness, leadership, and support, and for what might await us. He continues to show me through His Word just how Sovereign He is (not that I have it all figured out by ANY stretch!) - through God's orchestration of Hannah having Samuel, through David's preparation to be king ( and how he was anointed years before actually becoming king), Abraham's faith... and so much more. We serve a Mighty God!

Thank you so much for your sweet e-mails, encouragement and support, but most of all for your intercession through prayer. We truly can't express how much we appreciate it!

Love you all,
Brad and Linsey <><>